"Turn Right Past the Stump"

Belladonna on the tongue. Thirty-seven

absent members keeps us from a valid

quorum but we can at least take notes

to more effectively brainwash them when

they get over this nasty bug that’s burned

through the elementary school. You

asked for extra tomato sauce on the pizza

last night over the objections of everyone

else in the room, however, so you’ve got

all the experience necessary to make this


work. You ask yourself: can tuna be that

effective when used in place of caulk? Is

there any reason that the bricks in the wall

between your room and the church cannot

be replaced with the bones of your ancestors?

How many baluchitheria can dance

on the head of a screwdriver? Will you be

able to get tickets to the Yo La Tengo show

before they sell out? Your philosophy degree

comes in handy sometimes. But for now,


it’s off to the hardware store for fifty yards

of twine, six pounds of kopi luwak, as many

shovels as will be needed to get the job done.

If they resist your mind powers, there are

always replacements ready to cast a bitter,

more tractable vote when you reconvene.


About the author

November 2018 marked Robert Beveridge's thirtieth anniversary as a publishing poet. When not writing, he makes noise (xterminal.bandcamp.com) in Akron, OH. Recent/upcoming appearances in Pink Litter, Triadæ, and Welter, among others. 


Robert Beveridge